Just for fun...

let's discuss the little angel and devil on your shoulders that battle it out over helping you decide something. You know... the ones often portrayed in cartoons?



Well my little shoulder friends have soooo been going at it lately... over food. Yesterday my head was the battlefield over what to get at the grocery store. I was so in crave mode, but I didn't want to ruin everything I've already accomplished. Sticking with proteins and fiber foods has been working for me, but by the time I entered the grocery store, the devil soooo won. My low-carb angel was tied and gagged as sooon as I hit the bulk section. Chocolate covered pretzels, Peanut-butter cups, Almond bark all swam enticingly before my eyes... So I bought a couple of each (though I was conscious enough to stick to the more expensive sugar free kind-see! my angel wasn't completely silent) and then a few aisles later dropped my free with coupon, half-gallon of mint choco ice cream in my cart (with the intention of offering it to my parents for birthday celebrations-pfft... like that was going to happen), and then on the way out stopped in the buffet area and filled a little container with a few choice pieces of Chinese food.

My little devil was so thrilled, and when I got home we partied out with a couple pieces of chocolate, a few spoonfuls of chocolate mint ice cream, and some Chinese sweet and sour meatballs for lunch. And yet as soon as I was finished, didn't I feel like a big screwup afterwards. And of course my angel was no longer bound and silent and was now tsk-ing judgmentally in my ear, as my devil snickered.

*sigh* Looking back on the day I don't feel like I was a huge and complete failure, but seriously! Why does my little shoulder devil have to be so convincing sometimes :P

So... In honor of the epic food battle that took place yesterday with a disappointing but tasty conclusion, I present you with Kronk's mission. It comes from one of my favorite animated movies, Emperor's New Groove, where Kronk is also met with the torture of having to deal with an angel/devil situation. If I were only so strong as to tell both to "be gone" as he.

Battling Unbelief-Pride

Pride. Not an issue I battle with on a regular basis. I would say from a girl who suffers from insecurity and self esteem deficiencies, pride, in fact, tends to be the last thing I consider as one of my faults. So when I was presented with pride being the topic of our next "battling unbelief" bible study, I wasn't very excited. I didn't think there would be much to connect with for my own life. But I did wonder if maybe there was more to pride than just the arrogance and confidence that's normally associated with the term. And it turns out? Yup... that's totally the case.

Pastor Deone used scripture from James to define pride as this...

Pride is taking a different position than God because we think we know better and because we think we can.

"...because we think we can." How often do we rely on ourselves to get something done or deal with something ourselves without looking to Him for help? Often in my job, I spend so much time taking care of things myself, letting stress consume me, being unhappy, because I think it's my responsibility. I'm the only who can do it right. It's not so much a matter of being arrogant as it is me feeling like there's this high standard I need to live up to. I have a responsibility to perform certain duties. People are looking to me to get it done. If I don't, then who will? And then how it will it look. How will I look?

Do I sound a little *ME* focused? Yeah... and that's a problem. That's where the pride comes in. I'm focusing on the wrong thing. I should be focusing on God. I should be letting go of this pride I have about feeling solely responsible for my life and it's outcome, and simply rely on God to take care of it. I really should be living in daily dependence on Him. He wants me to. He asks me too. And yet once again. I don't trust in Him. I don't *believe* in Him to support me. I let my pride get in the way. I allow myself to be too independent.

My time needs to be spent talking and praying with Him. Who knows, maybe a decision that I'm planning on making is the wrong one. And maybe God wants to steer me in a different direction. But how would I know if I don't take a minute with Him. And that's where my walk with God has been lacking lately. I haven't been praying enough. And I know I need to. Sharing with Him the things that worry me or seeking his guidance about things I would normally just do on my own, is necessary. It will make me more alert and observant when God places obstacles in my path or clears an alternate route for smoother passage. I think just that little extra conversation with Him will open my eyes and make life clearer. And ultimately, make my life happier knowing I'm living in His will.

Battling Unbelief-Anxiety

So yesterday I went to a singles Bible study at my church. I've been searching for fellowship lately. Just been feeling really dry and thirsty for more Christian interaction and more lessons from God that didn't simply come from my own self realizations as I read the Bible on my own. So when I discovered this weekly Bible study on my church website, I felt God pushing my heart to go, if nothing else, to get more perspective on Him.

The only problem? My extreme anxiety about going by myself. Even though I knew my spiritual/intellectual self needed the nourishment, my social/emotional self could not let go of the fear of being socially rejected or feeling out of place.

Isn't it interesting then, that our focus in the scriptures during this Bible study ended up revolving around anxiety and how it forces us to abandon our belief in God. Ironic, no? Or is it God simply trying to tell me something? :P

So this is how, Pastor Deone Drake, the singles' pastor, defined anxiety.

Anxiety is a distracting concern that becomes a preoccupation and that interferes with our whole-hearted devotion to Christ

How true did that definition feel to me. And how very guilty did I feel in my realization of how applicable it was to my life. There are so many things that I overanalyze and stress about that completely occupies my mind and heart, when I should be giving Christ control of both. Whether it be self image, friendships, my career, my family... so much of it consumes me with worry, that I very very often keep Christ in the background.

Pastor Deone gave a great example of how anxiety can consume you.

Bees. It's easy to become distracted from whatever we are doing when a bee makes it's presence known to your ears with the annoying little buzz buzz sound it makes. And when it doesn't go away immediately, don't we immediately start to worry about being stung, and our mind becomes completely consumed with making it go away... or in my case, running far away from it. But really? When this happens? How many times does the bee actually sting us? Rarely. And the same could be said with our own personal anxieties. More often than not, our worries don't bear fruit, instead it just eats away at our hearts and minds.

Reading Matthew 6:24-32 I realized two things.

1. Anxiety believes it is possible to serve two masters. And if you are a follower of Christ, you know there is only one master. And just to be clear, anxiety, isn't it. (V.24)

2. Anxiety also believes God won't take care of you, even though He has a track record of caring for His creation. (V. 26)

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Do I not trust Him enough to take care of me, that I must be continually consumed in worry?

Just by looking at my anxiety in these two ways, I've realized I am suffering from unbelief. God knows what I need, just like a parent knows what a child needs, and yet I don't trust Him to take care of me. While it's more an insecurity issue, in my case, than a controlling one, I still feel overwhelmed by all the things I don't like about myself. In my constant worry, I put me first instead of Him. He needs to be my first and only master... not anxiety over "things"... and I need to remember that if He's taking care of the birds, he's certainly taking care of me and everything I worry about. Once I devote and focus myself on Him, the rest? He's promised to sort out Himself.
1 Peter 5:6-7

It's going to be hard for me. I don't expect my worries to just melt away. But I do feel better. Just going to that singles Bible study proved, my panicked feelings prior to arriving to the church, did not come to fruition. Not only did I start to feel comfortable, but God helped me meet a few new Christian friends in the process. Just goes to show ya, God knew exactly what I needed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm going to try to attend Pastor Dean Drakes singles Bible studies all summer. The next six? eight? weeks are going to be all about battling unbelief, but in ways you might not expect. My goal? To reflect on this series weekly here. And more importantly... it will get me posting on here with some regularity, which we all know has been an issue as of late ;)

Mosaic Blog

Ever feel down?

I did today... and a whole lot the past week or so... and I found the perfect solution. Giggling babies :D

*continues with desert metaphor*

Okay. So I'm hopping off of Eric's last post by sharing a desert of my own. My desert place the past few weeks has SO been this blog. I've been all dry and parched with the whole blogging thing. Do I be silly? Comical? Thoughtful? Serious? What can I write that will intrigue readers?

My problem? Well, lately my brain is in the mode of feeling unclever and unimpressive? and yes... I said unclever. Webster-worthy, no?... Anyhoo I know that I very much want this blog to be something that makes people smile or connect or at the very least, think. And I've pretty much had a whole lot of nothing to give in that department.

That is until I came across a blog at my local church website by a man named Jonathon Drake that really touched me today. It spoke to me in a way that connected with exactly how I've felt a lot lately, and gave me hope that even in those moments when pain grips your heart the most, God's waits for you on the other side of your hurt with comforting arms and a hopeful future. And while this is only me posting from my oasis,(I am still so in the middle of a desert with the whole blogging thing) I did want to share it because it felt like my lesson from God for today, and it only seemed right to provide others with opportunity to get a lesson too ;)


"The Best Hurt"

Returning from a Spiritual Desert

The past couple of weeks have been somewhat difficult for me. Being busy kept me from spending time with Him, which lead me to being Spiritually hungry. My life continued to be unusually busy, and that hunger went to starving. As is typical when spending too much time away from His word or fellowship with other Christians, I soon found my pride, a stiff neck, and a hard heart to keep me going in the absence of His presence in my life.

I could feel the gentle tugs of His will, trying to pull me back. It took a while, though, and required much gentle coaxing of my dear friend, the other author on this blog.

Over the last few days, finally, my heart melted again and I feel ready to receive His Word again, to spend time in prayer with Him.

Why did it take me so long to allow Him close to me once more? I think it comes down to pride. I'm a very willful person, and someone who likes to be in control. I like to understand everything thoroughly and be able to make very informed judgements. I have two degrees, a BS and an MA, both in a hard science. In actuality, I don't practice that science. I simply walked away after finishing those degrees and took up a job in computers, with no training.

So, I'm a man who likes to be in charge of matters. It's deeply ingrained in my psyche. When I'm not in control, I feel unsettled and nervous. Those feelings typically work against me, leading me to become irrational and angry.

That's one of the most difficult parts of being a Christian, for me. Is letting go and realizing He is in charge, not me.

I've been learning, however, that it is VERY important to realize and accept that He is in charge, ultimately. I've found in my walk with Him that it can actually be very empowering. Times come when one can never be truly in control, too many things happen that a single person can never manage. It's in times like that when a close relationship with The Lord can keep a person calm and sane.

In the end, what can be accomplished in life through His will is far more amazing than what my own feeble power can achieve. Just to see how He's affected my life is amazing.

But, more on that later. :)

In the meanwhile, I'm off to start this day, hopefully it will prove to be a day wrought by His will. I'm certainly going to try and pray my way through it.

I expect He'll take care of the rest. ;)

More muppet classics

Of course, since Kristine brought out the muppets, I've just gotta throw in with a classic...

Swedish Chef and Lobster Bandidos...

Seriously?... the Swedish Chef and lobsters with guns? How could that combination not be GOLD.

:D:D:D

The Sound of Silence

How many people breath a sigh of relief when they have achieved a moment's quiet? Mothers, fathers... wish for the blessed peace that comes after their children are tucked away in bed. College students pack libraries during exam time for a place to study without distraction. At night, a silent room is more often preferred when attempting to fall asleep than a noisy tv or radio.

Me? I enjoy noise. I want to be distracted. Distract away, oh great noise! Please keep me from getting private time, because trust me... I get enough. Being a single woman in her late twenties who enjoys being a homebody tends get a girl a lot more of that quiet/private time than she'd like. So whether it's longing for the sounds of engine whistles and rumbling train cars to pass by on the nearby tracks, or turning on my stereo the minute the engine of my vehicle roars to life.... or listening to the bubbling of my turtle tank as I lay in bed, I find myself always looking for ways to fill my ears. If I don't have something to distract me, the lack of sounds suddenly remind me that all I have is me. And then suddenly...the sound of silence becomes deafening.

So it's interesting after reading the scripture, 1Kings 19:9-12, the perspective God gives on silence.

"Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came the fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper."

As Elijah stood at the mountain of Horeb, he was in a depressed place. He longed to hear God. Wanted His noise. Wanted to experience the sound of nature at its most frightening. Standing there, seeing their power and destruction, he expected it. Expected the roaring judgment on the mountain where the Israelites were judged once and given the 10 commandments by the Lord. No longer did he want to worry about the shambles he believed his life to be. He just wanted the consequences. And yet the Lord, in all the noise was absent. It was in the end, when all had settled, in a whisper, in the sound of silence... that He finally spoke.

Can we only find that kind of silence in the wake of something so dramatic as what Elijah experienced? No, I don't think so. I don't think God needs to quiet our environment or nature to speak, I think He longs for the silence in us, so then we may hear Him. And I can imagine that is so very hard to find. Our minds are so busy with family, friends, jobs, bills, we rarely experience real silence. But I've come to realize, whether we intentionally hide from it or not, it is in the stillness within us that He speaks most clearly. Really speaks. And unfortunately for me, I find that I hear Him in the less than happy times, like Elijah did. Maybe it's because it is when we are most humbled. We are finally in the place where we realize we are alone without Him. No matter whether you're married or not married or have tons of friends or are surrounded by children, without Him? You're alone. And sometimes we need to get past ourselves and our lives to see that.

I think for me I want to find God or hear Him when I'm happy. I want to maintain this humility and need for him I feel when I'm depressed and apply it to the good times too. In the times when I'm surrounded by noise. Because He can speak then too. I mean He's God, right? He can speak whenever He chooses to. He doesn't need it to be quiet, we only need to hear Him. And it's not His fault if we're making our lives so noisy that were not listening.

Doesn't it make you wonder if He's speaking more than we even realize, but that we're just too involved in our lives and ourselves to care? It make me want to be more attentive and less self- involved that's for sure. Maybe if I spend more time trying to quiet down my noisy head, I won't feel so lonely. In the moment it gets quiet, instead of hearing the 'sound of silence,' maybe I will hear Him whisper to my heart.

Holy Spit!

Why in the world would we call our blog ‘holy spit?’ And how does one make spit holy? Is it the product of using holy water as mouthwash? Or is it simply the clean version of a curse? Well…yes I suppose it could be…but really? It isn’t.

Clear as mud you say? Why yes! That's it exactly! … Okay…I’ve only confused you further…let’s rewind a bit.

So Eric, my fellow blogger, and I were up late one night watching an archived Jerry Gillis sermon (JG being my local pastor) via The Chapel at Crosspoint website. He was speaking on John 9…and it included the story of a blind man who was healed by Jesus. You’re probably thinking…*shocking* Jesus healed someone? Yeah I know. I’m full of all sorts of revelations today… but this story is a little unique. This man had been blind his whole life and when he came across Jesus…he, like anyone who had heard of Jesus during this time, probably imagined a few words to be spoken and voila! “I CAN SEE!” But no siree…Jesus took a different approach. He spat on the ground beneath his feet, made a mixture of mud with his hands, and wiped the mucky substance over the man’s eyes. The man, in his blindness and covered in mud, was then told by Jesus to seek out water and wash his face on his own. He did. And of course…his eyes opened and he was healed. A man who had been blind his entire life was suddenly gifted with sight with only a bit of dirt, some holy spit (yep…this is where the holy spit comes from), and the touch of Christ.

The story stayed with us, along with other scripture and thoughts Pastor Jerry shared in his sermon. The idea that we may have to suffer trials and be covered with mud before our eyes are opened to the glory of His blessings really resounded deeply within us… or within me at least. It only takes a bit of holy spit and dirt from Him to make our lives and our purpose clear, and a little bit of faith and obedience on our part too. If the man hadn’t followed Christ’s directions, he may never have experienced the miracle he did. And while we can hardly expect a miracle to drop out of the sky anvil-style, we can appreciate the message that leaves us. Follow Him…and we will be blessed.

And this place, this blog, is where Eric and I would like to continue to share that message. With silly humor…with randomness…with comments on pop culture, the state of our world…with deep intellectual musings on Jerry’s sermons or other scriptures we happen to fall upon…and simply with our goofy personalities.

The directions and paths we take on this blog are completely in His hands. Because we seriously have no clue as to how or when we will be inspired to post. Simply that we intend for Him to lead us. And hopefully amuse you with our silly selves along the way. Feel free to comment and question and give us affection. Being writers, we long and love feedback. And to the left of our postings always feel free to click on any scriptures, links to Jerry’s sermons, and other such things we put up there. I’m sure they will be chock full of interesting things to see and will often relate to our musings.

So yes…our Holy Spit blog is a strange and wonderful place… with much randomness laced with deep Christian influences and musings. The ‘strange’ part of the site is purely in reference to the OTHER blogger on this site. It has absolutely nothing to do with me. I exemplify the wonderfulness, as you will soon see as I continue to post ;)

And with that promise I leave you with this lovely…

see more crazy cat pics

Courtesy of LOLcats

John 9 - Jesus Heals a Man Born Blind

1As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"

3"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. 4As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. 5While I am in the world, I am the light of the world."

6Having said this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man's eyes. 7"Go," he told him, "wash in the Pool of Siloam" (this word means Sent). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.

8His neighbors and those who had formerly seen him begging asked, "Isn't this the same man who used to sit and beg?" 9Some claimed that he was.
Others said, "No, he only looks like him."
But he himself insisted, "I am the man."

10"How then were your eyes opened?" they demanded.

11He replied, "The man they call Jesus made some mud and put it on my eyes. He told me to go to Siloam and wash. So I went and washed, and then I could see."

12"Where is this man?" they asked him.
"I don't know," he said.