Battling Unbelief-Pride

Pride. Not an issue I battle with on a regular basis. I would say from a girl who suffers from insecurity and self esteem deficiencies, pride, in fact, tends to be the last thing I consider as one of my faults. So when I was presented with pride being the topic of our next "battling unbelief" bible study, I wasn't very excited. I didn't think there would be much to connect with for my own life. But I did wonder if maybe there was more to pride than just the arrogance and confidence that's normally associated with the term. And it turns out? Yup... that's totally the case.

Pastor Deone used scripture from James to define pride as this...

Pride is taking a different position than God because we think we know better and because we think we can.

"...because we think we can." How often do we rely on ourselves to get something done or deal with something ourselves without looking to Him for help? Often in my job, I spend so much time taking care of things myself, letting stress consume me, being unhappy, because I think it's my responsibility. I'm the only who can do it right. It's not so much a matter of being arrogant as it is me feeling like there's this high standard I need to live up to. I have a responsibility to perform certain duties. People are looking to me to get it done. If I don't, then who will? And then how it will it look. How will I look?

Do I sound a little *ME* focused? Yeah... and that's a problem. That's where the pride comes in. I'm focusing on the wrong thing. I should be focusing on God. I should be letting go of this pride I have about feeling solely responsible for my life and it's outcome, and simply rely on God to take care of it. I really should be living in daily dependence on Him. He wants me to. He asks me too. And yet once again. I don't trust in Him. I don't *believe* in Him to support me. I let my pride get in the way. I allow myself to be too independent.

My time needs to be spent talking and praying with Him. Who knows, maybe a decision that I'm planning on making is the wrong one. And maybe God wants to steer me in a different direction. But how would I know if I don't take a minute with Him. And that's where my walk with God has been lacking lately. I haven't been praying enough. And I know I need to. Sharing with Him the things that worry me or seeking his guidance about things I would normally just do on my own, is necessary. It will make me more alert and observant when God places obstacles in my path or clears an alternate route for smoother passage. I think just that little extra conversation with Him will open my eyes and make life clearer. And ultimately, make my life happier knowing I'm living in His will.